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View Full Version : My first P-Valve (cue giggles!)



Garspeed
19-04-10, 11:30
Okay, so I'm getting a little older, less fit and more infirm, or so my wife keeps telling me! I always have to squeeze a last pee out before zipping up and after a long dive I often need to drop my kit on the bench and go relieve myself again.



The time has obviously come for me to find, fit and learn to use a P-valve so where do I start... on line forums of course. I spent quite some time searching through some very informative posts on this and at one point my wife and I were nearly pee-ing ourselves with laughter at some of the comments - priceless so well done for sharing guys!!!



Anyway, I eventually bought an O3 P-valve and fitted it myself. I then found myself reading all sorts of medical posts and reviews on catheters and soon found that in fact, the catheter is more important than the P-valve! Prior to a planned big dive, I did a "dry run" so to speak. I put the catheter on (not an easy task with a sleepy mannie!), slipped into my base layer and undersuit then climbed into my drysuit and attempted to "plumb in" for the first time. All seemed fine so I was happy enough. I decided since the plumbing seemed to go okay that I would take the gear off but leave the catheter on until I needed to go, just to be sure that it didn't come off. This task was duly completed and although it felt a little strange, no big deal.



Final task, catheter removal. I knew that this may be problematic so was prepare to take my time but holy sh*t, nightmare! 30 mins later standing in the shower with roasting hot flannel wrapped around the wee mannie to try and loosen the glue and I was in agony. It was about now that I started to question the advice I had followed of forcing yourself into the smallest catheter you can fit!



The following day, my big dive was cancelled so I decided to dive a local quarry and "plumb in" to test the P-valve for real. My wee mannie was still red raw in some places from the previous experience so I planned to try a larger size and also was debating adding some vaseline to stop the glue sticking so good on my tender areas. I called a dive buddy who is a nurse and happened to be working, and like the complete professional she is, she told all her work mates who duly p*ssed themselves laughing at my predicament. Anyway, the plan was followed, the fitment was much easier than previous (more space so my wee mannie got to fit much closer to the top) and the dive was undertaken. I had been deliberately pouring water down my neck all morning and hadn't relieved myself prior to suiting up so part way through my dive I felt the need. Again, my advice was a little at a time and as slow as possible so off we go. The pressure builds the pipe straightens, the heat is felt, I am waiting on the "pop" and "sploosh" but it seems okay. A very weird and unnatural feeling but nice all the same. It takes me all of my concentration so I just hover around 12m next to a rock as I am letting go. By the end of the dive I realize that I need to go again so rather then rushing out to dekit, I go again. Same as previous, very weird but it seems to work.



Once out and "de-plumbed" I check out my wee mannie and he is doing a "tortoise impression" hiding up the inside of his home - hmm! No one was around so I take the brave decisions to have a go at removing the catheter there and then and to my surprise, it came off without any tears (thanks to the vaseline maybe?) - job done.



So what have I learned from the above...



P-valves are cool and every dry suit should have one

Peeing underwater is weird but nice

Catheter choice, size and application is critical to the whole operation (I need to work on this!)

regthing
19-04-10, 12:37
:lol:

Brilliant

:lol:

Scuba Steve
19-04-10, 12:43
:lol::lol::lol: absoloutely the funniest thing i have read for a long time!! :lol::lol::lol:

Scuba-Doh!
19-04-10, 12:46
Best Post Evar!!!

Jinty O'nick
19-04-10, 13:04
Hi Gar,

Is all this new torch business, and fiddling with your "wee mannie" because you have been invited to dive with the "Gods of diving" in the far north east?... did you have to pass a catheter fitting speciality in sub zero temperature? ... did you have to let them "stroke" your new torch? :crying: out with it man! ... the diving public deserves to know!

Cheers,

Jinty.

NorthernTechnical
19-04-10, 14:24
Remember and regulate the flow in small bursts, If you let go big time I did:rolleyes:you blow it off and a bit of a wet deco.......:):o:)

Garspeed
19-04-10, 15:36
Hi Gar,

Is all this new torch business, and fiddling with your "wee mannie" because you have been invited to dive with the "Gods of diving" in the far north east?... did you have to pass a catheter fitting speciality in sub zero temperature? ... did you have to let them "stroke" your new torch? :crying: out with it man! ... the diving public deserves to know!

Cheers,

Jinty.

Jinty

What can I say man - I thought I was a "ruftie tuftie" until I met and dived with the "C-Divers" on the Clyde - you guys really are "diving gods". I now spend my days dreaming about a return to the Wallachia with my buddy holding on to my ankles as I did for whiskey bottles in the silt ;). Meanwhile all I can do is get ready for it by playing with my wee mannie and stroking my new shiny Greenforce :001_tt2:

Bring on the next trip
Gar

dive granny
19-04-10, 16:40
You nasty lot laughing at others misfortune.:lol::lol:
Anyway, when you say catheter do you mean sheath? Catheters are internal and sheaths roll over 'wee mannie' like a condom. We used to use them in hospital and they are very difficult to get on the 'wee mannies' (which are sometimes almost non existent) of old chappies..:eek: We didn't glue them on though:eek:

NorthernTechnical
19-04-10, 19:52
It is a sticky condom, medical ones are best. I tried a diving companies own brand, and it was far too sticky. I bruised myself trying to get it off and then I had use scissors and cut up the side:eek::o use one's out a hospital only.....note to myself:)

dive granny
19-04-10, 22:05
That would bring a tear to a glass eye.:eek:

chris
22-04-10, 13:37
The thought of using "glue" down there scared me! but twas a funny story! Thanks for sharing, I bet all the nurses and co had a great laugh!

dive granny
22-04-10, 14:13
:lol::lol::lol::lol::D

Chris@Aquatron
22-04-10, 16:47
That would bring a tear to a glass eye.:eek:

LMFAO! :laugh: