Best Joke Poll [Archive] - Conger Alley, Scuba Diving In Scotland

Chris@Aquatron

25-09-08, 13:18

There were some absolute crackers in the Free Air for Jokes post and some I needed to ask an explanation on! :) I did think Gord would have to delete some racy ones but you all behaved yourselves very well..... unfortunately :D LOL

For those that posted a joke and need your extra free voucher fill I need you to PM me with your 1.) Name, 2.) CA User name, 3.) Contact number, and 4.) Email address. Your voucher will then be ready for you to claim in the shop either day you choose.

Now with the long anticipated POLL!

Please make your vote and the winner will be the one with the most votes at the end of Sunday 28th September at 5:00pm.

Thanks to all who contributed and good luck to the finalists!

Chris

regthing

25-09-08, 14:00

Here's the contenders.....

A mother and her young inquisitive son were flying Singapore Airlines from Singapore to New York.
The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to is mother and asked, 'If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats, why don't planes have baby planes?'

The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the pretty flight attendant. So the boy dutifully asked the flight attendant, 'If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats, why don't planes have baby planes?'

The flight attendant responded, 'Did your mother tell you to ask me that?' The little boy admitted that she did.

'Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Singapore Airlines always pulls out on time.

Now, let your mother explain that to you.'!!!

A man takes his dog to the vet. The vet examines the dog and says it will have to be put down.
The man asks for a second opinion, so the vet brings in a cat who has a wee snip round the dog and agrees with the vet.
The man asks for another opinion, so the vet brings in a labrador, who has a sniff round the dog and also agrees it has to be put down.
The man accepts the decision and the vet puts the dog down. the vet then says "That will be £6000.00". "How so much" says the man.
"Well" says the vet, "My fee would have been £50.00, but the cat scan and the lab test are extra":D

An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him “How do you expect to get into Heaven?”
The boy thought it over and said, “Well, I’ll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, ‘For Heaven’s sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!’”

How do you know a blonde has been using your pc?

Tipex on the screen.

How do you know an Irishman (sorry Gord!) has been using your pc?

Writing over the tipex.

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive.... so, I took her to a petrol station.....
And then the fight started....

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too'
And then the fight started.....

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked,' Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.
'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started.....

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
And then the fight started.....