Jeremy Clarkson

[chris]

Hopefully these are OK!
Clarksonisms


"This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying "Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases."

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster - "It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom."

"I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you've got even half a scrotum it's not going to happen."

"I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?"

"Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it, if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under the tweed. I do, and it helps."

Especially for DG
"On the Alfa Romeo Brera... "I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather and I'm nursing a semi!"

[Ryza00]

Some more:

'The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw'

"Speed has never killed anyone; suddenly becoming stationary... that's what gets you."


"the Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite"

"[about Porsche Cayman S] There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean"

It's really as useful, as a snooze button on a smoke alarm. (Regarding the adjustable suspension in the Bentley Continental GT)

[dive granny]

Especially for DG
"On the Alfa Romeo Brera... "I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather and I'm nursing a semi!"

:D;)