U R A GLASWEGIAN If:

[Bikerbill]

1. Ye can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan Milngavie,Sauchiehall, St Enoch, Auchtermuchty and Aufurfuksake.
2. Ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the chippie.
3. Ye get four seasons in wan day.
4. Ye canny pass a chip/kebab shop withoot sleverin when yer blootert.
5. Ye kin fall about pished withoot spilling yer drink.
6. Ye see people wear shell suits with burberry accessories - pure class!
7. Ye measure distance in minutes.
8. Ye kin understaun Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like him,in yer ain family.
9. Ye go tae Saltcoats cos ye think it is like gaun tae the ocean.
10. Ye kin make hael sentences jist wae sweer wurds.
11. Ye know whit haggis is made ae and stull like eating it.
12. Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur
wedding day date.
13. You've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the
Church/Chapel.
14. Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n chips,irn-bru, fags and nappies all in the wan shop.
15. Yer holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it.
16. A big flash car has a ned at the wheel.
17. Ye know irn-bru is a hangover cure.
18. Ye learnt tae sweer afore ye learnt tae dae sums.
19. Ye actually understand this and yurr gonnae send it tae yer
pals
20. Finally, you are 100% Glaswegian if you have ever said/heard
these words...
how's it hingin
clatty
boggin
cludgie
pished
get it up ye :D

[alexmaclennan]

:D :D :D :D

alex

[dive granny]

Mmm.. perhaps I'm just a snob. I detest rab C and don't have anyone like him in my family. It is amusing though:D :D :D

[Gord]

haway Sandie-doll!!!
shure ure jist sayin tha' ...!

This wan's fer yoo, doll (to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody):

Is this the real life, is it the methadone?
Stuck in the Gorbals, two bob fur the telephone?
Open yer wine an' talk wi' a whine like me.
Um just a weeji, gie us yer Sunny D.
Cos I'll chib yer pal, rip yer Da; slash yer dug, ride yer ma!
Any way the Clyde flows
Disnae really mater tae me......tae me.
Haw Maw, just chibbed some bam,
Buckie bottle tae the heid,
An noo the f*ckin' b*stard's deid!
Haw Maw, Um just oan parole,
An noo I'm headin back tae Barlineeeee....
Haw Maw, ooh oohooh ooh,
Never meant tae steal yer purse,
But if I'm no fu' o' smack this time the morra'.
Carry oot, carry oot!
An we'll go oot oan the batter!
Too late, the bailiff's here,
Sends shivers doon ma spine,
Gubbed 10 jellies just in time.
Goodbye all ma muckers, I've got tae go,
Got tae go and rip some w*nk fae up the scheme.
Haw Maw, ooh oohooh ooh
I'm a jakey bam, I sometimes think I've never been washed at all.
I see a little silhouetto of a bam,
Adidas! Adidas! Can ye get us a kergo?
Thunderbird, White Lightning, very very frightning to me!
Twenty Mayfair, Twenty Mayfair, Twenty Mayfair and some skins,
Magnifico oh oh oh oh!
I'm just a fat boy, nae body loves me,
He's just a fat boy fae a fat family!
Spare us a pound fur a wee cup o tea?
Get tae f*ck, skanky slob, will ye get a job?
For f*cksake, No! I will no' get a job!
Get a job! For f*cksake, I will no' get a job!
Get a job! For f*cksake, Will you get a job?
Get a job! Will no' get a job, get a job!
Will no' get a job, get ajob!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.....
Oh gonorrhoea! gonorrhoea! gonorrhoea and the clap!
Then doon the pub, has the barman put aside for me?
For me, for meeeee!?
So you 'hink you can slash me and pish in my eye?
So ye 'hink ye can chib me an' leave me to die?
Haw b*llox, can't dae this tae me b*llox!
Just wait till I'm oot,
just wait till I'm right oot ma nut!
F*ck all really matters,
Any one can see,
F*ck all really matters,
F*ck all really matters to me!
Any way the Clyde flows....

[alexmaclennan]

SoizthiztheeEastwoodSACanthemdoll? :confused:

Acrackin'songwierealclass :D :D

alex

[dive granny]

Very funny. I love these things. keep them coming.Ask Bubblemaker if I'm a snob.:D :D ;)

[Eddie]

Very funny. I love these things. keep them coming.Ask Bubblemaker if I'm a snob.:D :D ;)

... would that be Rab C Bubblemaker? :D

[Ding]

... would that be Rab C Bubblemaker? :D

Would that be the bubblemaker that’s in love just now, the shy quiet little diver we all know and love. Could it be the guy that used to take u/w pictures? And constantly remind us of the pureness of our language. ;)

[dive granny]

My beloved son is nothing like Rab C.:mad: :mad: :mad:

[Gord]

the lady doth protest ... ;)

[Gord]

I once saw a classic episode of Rab C in which he explained to Jamesie Cotter how his grandfather was Rab A Nesbitt, his father had been Rab B Nesbitt, he was Rab C Nesbitt and he hoped to have a son he could call Rab D Nesbitt. One day there would be a Rab I Nesbitt.

Beautiful! :D :D :D