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chris
06-03-08, 23:59
1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. - (Kelly age 6)

2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an island. If you don't have sea all around you, you are incontinent. ( Wayne age 7)

4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)

5) A dolphin breaths through an arsehole on the top of its head. (Billy age 8)

6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs. (Millie age 6)

7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7)

8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)

9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my dad keeps shouting at my mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6)

10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers.- (Christopher age 7)

11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it make my willy small. (Kevin age 6)

12) Divers have to be safe whey they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8)

13) On holiday my mum went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her fanny. (Julie age 7)

dive granny
07-03-08, 00:45
You can always rely on kids to tell it like it is:D:D My son used to call seagulls 'seaside pigeons':D

JohnnyB
07-03-08, 09:23
1)
11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it make my willy small. (Kevin age 6)

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Yes , thats my excuse as well :O)
( John ,Age 43 ).

Rydive
07-03-08, 12:57
Brilliant! My girlfriend is a primary school teacher, she says that you regularly get teachers walking in to the staff room looking like the world is about to end... it's normally because a kid has just "told it like it is". For example, "Mrs ****, why have you got one of those moustache things?". :o:p

My GF was a bit put out when one of her class asked if she "had a baby in her tummy", what can you do! Oh to be a kid again.

JohnnyB
07-03-08, 13:35
Yes , my 6 year old took great delight in pointing out a picture of a geeky looking baldy bloke with a moustach and glasses drawn in the background of her reading book.
'Oh look she exclaimed - daddys famous now' , heralding in an evening of me having the P ripped out by the whole family.
Still , I'll get my own back come Christmas.
Anyone know where I can get my hands on a lump of coal ?
Cheers all , JB.

Bikerbill
07-03-08, 16:29
When my son aged 6 at the time, first saw an elephant, told me that he saw this animal pick up an apple with it's tail then shoved it up it's arse.

JohnnyB
07-03-08, 17:00
When my son aged 6 at the time, first saw an elephant, told me that he saw this animal pick up an apple with it's tail then shoved it up it's arse.

LOL

Maybe he did.
Some elephants are just like that :)

Yogi Diver
07-03-08, 21:20
You can always rely on kids to tell it like it is:D:D My son used to call seagulls 'seaside pigeons':D
Bloody seagulls are far worse than pigeons. Flying Rats every one of them!!! B******s nicked my chips at Anstruther!:mad: