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NiciJ
28-08-06, 17:56
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated ....

"If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon".

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10.You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

Ding
28-08-06, 20:41
Yes so true and if it was my laptop u would need a new battery every year:D

NiciJ
28-08-06, 21:17
You really are online 24 / 7, aren't you?!

I bought myself a really neat Philips freevents x51 12.1" notebook early this year for processing my videos and downloading photos, but I haven't had the nerve to use it without mains yet as apparently I have to "format" the battery (which supposedly lasts 3.5 hours) first or I will ruin it's life, but I don't have a clue how to format it... :confused:

Any idiot-guide tips for me?! :o

Ding
28-08-06, 22:15
You really are online 24 / 7, aren't you?!

I bought myself a really neat Philips freevents x51 12.1" notebook early this year for processing my videos and downloading photos, but I haven't had the nerve to use it without mains yet as apparently I have to "format" the battery (which supposedly lasts 3.5 hours) first or I will ruin it's life, but I don't have a clue how to format it... :confused:

Any idiot-guide tips for me?! :o

Maybe I didn't format my battery and that's why its knackered ;)
PS nickij Have u had a look at the local divesites?
where is your nearest divesite?
Ding

NiciJ
28-08-06, 22:40
I guess in Perth I'm really East coast, and I've been told that the currents etc over here are quite fierce and conditions only suit experienced divers - not me!
However, I note that some CA members have been at Powmill Quarry (eg I've seen Craig's pics online) and that couldn't be nearer where I work. I've been up there a couple of times to have a look and it looks quite small, but the water looks fairly clear. Apparently either the army or navy or whatnot used to train their divers there!
Apart from that, I've never really seen any dive sites this coast - they are a closely kept secret!! :cool:

Ding
28-08-06, 22:46
I guess in Perth I'm really East coast, and I've been told that the currents etc over here are quite fierce and conditions only suit experienced divers - not me!
However, I note that some CA members have been at Powmill Quarry (eg I've seen Craig's pics online) and that couldn't be nearer where I work. I've been up there a couple of times to have a look and it looks quite small, but the water looks fairly clear. Apparently either the army or navy or whatnot used to train their divers there!
Apart from that, I've never really seen any dive sites this coast - they are a closely kept secret!! :cool:

Why dont you write a divesheet for powmill quarry I have never dived there and I bet there are a few divers on the west coast who have not dived there either. there is a blank divesheet template on
http://www.congeralley.com/links/browselinks.php?c=10
A challange for you!!!

NiciJ
28-08-06, 23:17
To submit an info sheet I would have had to have dived it, but I've only ever been up either on foot or in a 4x4 looking at it from the land! :o

Apart from organised dives with a BSAC club from down south, I've not done any UK diving except for yesterday with a Tayside SSAC instructor who very kindly volunteered to take me out (hence Coffee Shop site!)

At my very inexperienced stage I'd be too... "cautious" shall we say to jump in on my own? :eek:

That's why I'm looking at various local clubs with the intentions of joining one, getting some training and experience and hopefully the availability of diving buddies!

Once I know what I'm talking about I'll submit a site report, promise, but in the meantime, apart from the Coffeee Shop, the only Scottish diving I've done was when we stayed at Lochaline in the Sound of Mull and did the usual (or nor so usual) sites by club RIB - Breda, Hispenia x2, Tobermoray Harbour (to locate & retreive a lost anchor for a sailor!) Shuna x2, Aurania, Rondo, Thesis, John Preston (well, almost, we didn't have the exact co-ordinates so threw down the shot line where we thought it was from the directions given - white marks on the rocks - and not all of us found it, my buddy and I didn't, but the DO and his buddy picked up enough scallops to make their dive well worth while!) and finally The Swan (protected site but we got the licence to dive it from Mark at Lochaline Dive Centre from whom we rented the Old Post Office for the week).

So, not quite the credentials for submiting and accurate or informative site descriptions yet! :)

Ding
30-08-06, 13:09
Practice makes perfect
You have done some very good dives most divers love the sound of mull

But here is a rib tickler
A man is working on the buses in the US collecting tickets.
He rings the bell for the driver to set off when there's a woman half getting on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At the trial the man is sent down for murder and seeing as it's Texas he's sent to the electric chair. On the day of his execution he's sat in the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish.

"Well" says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?" "Yes" answers the executioner. "Can I have that green banana?"

The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits till he's eaten it. When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch sending hundreds of thousands of volts through the man. When the smoke clears the man is still alive. The executioner can't believe it.

"Can I go?" the man asks. "I suppose so" says the executioner, "that's never happened before."

The man leaves and eventually gets a job back on the buses selling tickets. Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are still getting on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed. The bloke is sent down for murder again and sent to the electric chair. The executioner is determined to do it right this time so rigs the chair up to the electric supply for the whole of Texas.

The bloke is again sat in the chair. "What is your final wish?" asks the executioner. "Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch ?" says the condemned man. The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana. The bloke eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch. Millions of volts course through the chair blacking out Texas. When the smoke clears the man is still sat there smiling in the
chair. The executioner can't believe it and lets the man go.

Well, would you believe, the bloke gets his job back on the buses. Once again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on, this
time killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair again. The executioner rigs up all United States electricity supply to The chair, determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the chair smiling.

"What's your final wish ?" asks the executioner. "Well" says the man, "Can I have that green banana out of your packed lunch.?" The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all, skin included. The executioner pulls the handle and a brazillion volts go through the chair. When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive without even a burn mark.

"I give up" says the executioner, "I don't understand how you
can still be alive after all that?". He stroked his chin. "It's something to do with that green banana isn't it" he asked.

Nahh" said the bloke,

"I'm just a really bad conductor"

NiciJ
30-08-06, 17:23
Good one, Ding!