View Full Version : I'd love to be a Scotish stand up comedian
whilst doing some browsing I came accross this, it made me laugh.
It's from an australian comedy show...
Vr5hsm0MUHw
You must admit though. He's hit the nail on the head :rolleyes:
Nah sorry that aussie bloke didnt do it for me
but this does....
> Billy Connolly's take on the terrorists hitting Glasgow...
> "Good old Glasgow. If I had to pick a city in the world where I could
> depend on one of the locals to kick a man who was on fire, it would
> always be Glasgow. That really had to hurt - 90% burns and sore
> bollocks....
> I think we should get a photo of that guy KICKING A FLAMING MAN, blow
> it up and make it the welcome sign at Glasgow Airport. Underneath we
> should have the words 'Glasgow Welcomes Careful Drivers'...
>
> I love the naivety of al-Qaeda. For trying to bring a religious war to
> Glasgow. You're 400 years too late guys!! You've not even got a
> Football Team for Christ's sake... I think that we should give Partick
> Thistle to al-Qaeda. If only for the joy of hearing them read out their
> team sheet on Saturday...
>
> The Sun last week urged us all to respond to the attack by flying the
> Union Jack. Really, in Glasgow that's never been a great way of getting
> your insurance premiums down...
>
> If we play this whole terrorism thing right, we could get al-Qaeda to
> blow up some of Scotland's eyesores. I think we should definitely start
> putting signs up round Shettleston's high flats that say 'Financial
> Quarter'...
>
> For a while, confusion reigned at Glasgow airport. Was it a terrorist
> attack or just Richard Hammond turning up late for check-in?
>
> People say it was lucky they didn't crash into a fuel container. I say
> it's lucky they didn't hit the queue coming out of Duty Free - the
> whole place would have gone up like Hiroshima...
>
> The best bit is being told that hundreds of people were saved from
> being hideously burnt...these were Scottish people flying to Spain!
> They'll come back looking like they've been bungee jumping off the lip
> of a volcano!"
brilliant IMO.
Fair do's to blonde pigeons :D
Nah sorry that aussie bloke didnt do it for me
but this does....
> Billy Connolly's take on the terrorists hitting Glasgow...
> "Good old Glasgow. If I had to pick a city in the world where I could
> depend on one of the locals to kick a man who was on fire, it would
> always be Glasgow. That really had to hurt - 90% burns and sore
> bollocks....
> I think we should get a photo of that guy KICKING A FLAMING MAN, blow
> it up and make it the welcome sign at Glasgow Airport. Underneath we
> should have the words 'Glasgow Welcomes Careful Drivers'...
>
> I love the naivety of al-Qaeda. For trying to bring a religious war to
> Glasgow. You're 400 years too late guys!! You've not even got a
> Football Team for Christ's sake... I think that we should give Partick
> Thistle to al-Qaeda. If only for the joy of hearing them read out their
> team sheet on Saturday...
>
>
>
> People say it was lucky they didn't crash into a fuel container. I say
> it's lucky they didn't hit the queue coming out of Duty Free - the
> whole place would have gone up like Hiroshima...
>
> The best bit is being told that hundreds of people were saved from
> being hideously burnt...these were Scottish people flying to Spain!
> They'll come back looking like they've been bungee jumping off the lip
> of a volcano!"
brilliant IMO.
1st 2 and last 2 paragraphs were word for word Frankie Boyle at the festival last Thursday night - wonder who's stuff it was first?
does anyone have original material anymore???
Mr Flibble
01-09-07, 11:15
yer Aussie bloke in the vid says he would love to be a Scottish Standup Comedian but being an Australian he would just have to get a job..................yeah in a f*cking bar in Edinburgh, if it's soooooooo great in Oz why is the entire country over here working in pubs? :D